Welcome to Inclusion Matters, a podcast about children's

development from the Center for Inclusive Childcare.

Welcome to Inclusion Matters, a podcast from the Center for

Inclusive Child Care.

I'm Priscilla Weigel, the executive director.

And I'm here today with one of our coaches who is out in

the field every day.

Kris Hellwig and Kris has been on our team for well, actually,

almost since the beginning of our coaching work.

And I've known Kris for years.

We've worked together in other facilities, and it's so great

to have you here today

Kris. Thank you for having me. I'm glad you're here to talk

about something that's very near and dear to both of our

hearts, hearts and its inclusion and the meaning of inclusion

and the real Foundation for the practice that we try to implement

every day out there in the field.

And I think one thing just having Kris as a guest today,

another facet that you're sharing is that of a parent of

a child with special needs.

Correct.

So do you want to tell us a little bit about that?

Sure.

I have a daughter who is 15, almost 16, with Down syndrome.

So I have a different role of also learning to be an advocate

for her as well throughout her school and personal life.

Right.

That adds a new and different components, I think, to my

coaching. Yes, I think it does.

And I'm sure I know in many situations, that added lens that

you bring to the child care setting has really benefited

the child care provider, because I think sometimes we see

things from our own side of the table and we forget what

it looks looks like from that parent's perspective.

And so that's going to be helpful as we talk through some

of the things today that we're going to touch on.

And we're going to just start with some of those pieces that

really can help you as a child care setting set up for success

when you want to have an inclusive environment.

And being inclusive isn't just saying that you have a bunch

of books about kids with special needs that you're reading

in your book corner.

It's more about an attitude.

It's more about those foundational pieces that just help kind

of everything flow together to make it seem welcoming and

allowing all kids to feel like they belong.

I think it's more about having everybody see that kids are

more like than they are different.

Right.

And that's truly what we're here to talk about today is what

are some ways that you can help all the children in your

care understand how they're connected.

And one of those things is may not sound like the best way

to start, but it's acknowledging differences, pointing out

that we all do things differently, and that's okay.

It makes the world more interesting.

Yes.

My daughter was younger.

I used to go into her kindergarten classroom or first grade

classroom, and we would read a book and it talked about the

differences, and we were just very open and honest about

those differences.

And children would ask questions and we would answer those

questions, and it kind of took the mystery out of it.

Right.

So just I think, acknowledging those differences and being

open and honest about those with the children.

Yeah.

It's very helpful. Because kids are curious,

They just want information.

And I think that a lot of times in the past when a child

would ask a question about someone maybe in a wheelchair

or someone who looked different than they did, parents would

say, Oh, don't ask that question.

Or even providers would say, Oh, that's not nice to ask.

But then what we're saying is there's something secret, there's

something mysterious, there's something possibly bad about

that they're not.

Right.

Yes.

And so I think that your point.

Two of just going in and being really open about the uniqueness

of your daughter and also about those in your care out there,

those who are listening, just really talking about the fact

that wouldn't the room be boring if we all were exactly the

same? How would I keep track of who's who and just highlighting

some of those differences that are adding to the group.

I remember a student that I had years ago who wasn't very

verbal. He didn't use a lot of language, but he was really

great at whistling and pointing that out in a time when other

kids maybe we're looking at him like, why aren't you saying

anything and saying, but have you ever heard this guy whistle?

He's really good at it.

Show him how you whistle and realizing that not every child

that age could whistle.

So it was one of those moments where that group of kids realized,

Wow, he can do something that I can't do, just like I might

be able to do some things that are maybe a little trickier

for him, but it doesn't mean he can't try.

Right.

Yeah.

Great idea.

It really adds a lot to that whole inclusive environment,

really modeling that sense of belonging and being a part

of things, which takes us to modeling appropriate behavior

as another way to create that inclusive environment.

So you are setting the stage as an adult in the room?

Yes.

And I think one thing we know about young children is they're

always watching us, so they're going to model our behavior.

So if we are modeling that, it's okay that there's differences

and we acknowledge those were showing them that appropriate

behavior. I think they just fall right behind us and do just

what we are doing.

I just have that level of acceptance.

Right.

And I think our confidence, too, in the way the tone that

we use and how we explain things as more of a matter of fact,

this is how it is.

Everything's okay in that tone as the adult in the room saying,

you know what?

The crying is kind of loud right now because it's too loud

in the room, and that's hurting her ears.

And she needs something to cover her ears.

What could we find for her?

Let's help her and helping that other peer to see sometimes

you cry when you're uncomfortable.

You do the same when you're not feeling good.

Crying is a way that she's telling us she needs help.

Yeah.

That's what I was just thinking too, is that explaining to the child

or children that that's her way of telling us it's too loud.

And she would like people to quiet down, please, or whatever.

So that's their form of communication and explaining it that

way. That, again, being very open and honest about those

differences, making sure that children know that's

Okay.

And I think that as you were just stating about the explanations,

that's where we come in as that guide for the kids in the

group, they're not going to come to these conclusions on

their own.

They need help being taken to those conclusions.

So if we just assume and kids are pretty accepting when we're

modeling that acceptance.

So that's one piece as we talked about.

But if we don't fill in the gaps for that information, that's

when they start to make their own ideas or just they may

have come across someone in their life, out in the community

that made them feel uncomfortable and they weren't feeling

good about it.

And this child's kind of doing the same thing that makes

me feel like I'm not sure if I'm safe.

So that's when you step in as that adult to say, Oh, you

know what?

Yeah.

That's how she's communicating.

That's what she's trying to tell us.

Or maybe she wants to play with you, and she's still practicing

using her words.

What do you think?

What should she do?

She wants your attention.

And so helping those classmates, those peers, those other

children in child care to understand how that child is communicating

so that they can communicate back.

And I think I like how you're saying validate feelings on

both sides, right?

Yeah.

Because sometimes it is uncomfortable if we're unsure of

something, we know that.

And you've done this for a long time, Kris.

So you understand how it feels when you don't have a lot

of experience doing the work of inclusion.

And you see that in the sites that you go too often where

a provider might say, Well, I've never had a child that has

a diagnosis of autism before, and I don't know what to do.

I don't want to do something wrong.

I don't want to miss out on doing something.

And what we try to do in our work.

And what you're doing in the coaching work is to come alongside

that person and say, there's not a magic key.

Every child is unique.

Let's figure out what this child needs.

Let's watch this child get to know this child, and then we

can come to kind of a plan.

And I always like to tell providers when they do seem timid

or not knowing.

Remember, this is a child first.

Yes, it's a child first.

And we treat them just like we would any other child.

Yeah.

We may need to make some accommodations along the way for

sure. We'll have to do that.

But to always remember they're just a child first.

Yeah.

And I think that years ago, when we both taught together,

we were classroom teachers.

And I remember there was this handout that someone shared

about the fact that many children miss out on that opportunity

to be.

It was a nice little poem, but missing out on the opportunity

to be a child first.

And they missed the chance to get dirty.

They missed the chance to get down in the sand because they

might be wearing AFO or braces on their legs.

How can we provide an opportunity for them to be the best

kid possible experiencing childhood the way they should be?

And I think with that, we're going to close and come back

to this discussion in our next podcast.

Chris, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you.

Thanks for listening.

For more resources, visit us at Inclusive Childcare org.